DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a “friend” who contacts me only when she needs something.
Related Articles
Advice |
Harriette Cole: My competition for the job is a pretty teen. Should I report her?
Advice |
Harriette Cole: Our mom isn’t coming home to take care of the kids
Advice |
Harriette Cole: After 3 years of silence, she sent me this text
Advice |
Harriette Cole: Oh, your boat dock? Yeah, our kid broke that.
Advice |
Harriette Cole: How to be a mother who abides and inspires
She will text or call, acting like she wants to check in on me and then, like clockwork, she almost immediately tells me about something that she is doing and how I can support her.
I didn’t figure out her pattern for some time, but now it is obvious to me. Sometimes I don’t have a problem with it, as I like to help people, but it’s clear now that she isn’t really a friend.
I’m having a party soon and making the guest list. It is not a large event — mostly close friends. She is on the periphery of this group. I don’t really want to invite her, but I know she will find out about it.
Should I add her to the list just to avoid hurt feelings?
— Guest List
DEAR GUEST LIST: If your party is for good friends, review the potential list of attendees and cross off anyone who doesn’t fit that category — period. Why add her if she doesn’t deserve to be on the list?
Unless you feel there is some political reason why you should invite her, don’t. You need to draw the line about who deserves to be in your inner circle.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a clandestine relationship with a guy for most of this year. We hit it off after meeting on the street. We had a lot of fun together, but I always felt like I was putting forth more effort than him.
One day I confronted him about not being more responsive, and he said that if I wanted to be with him, I had to accept that he sometimes doesn’t turn on his phone and can go MIA, and too bad if I don’t like it, that’s how he is.
I was taken aback by his comment. He accepted no responsibility for not being attentive. That’s when I stopped being as available to him.
Recently, I got fed up with him not answering my texts or calls for days on end and called it quits, but I realize that I miss him. We did have a …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
