Dear Eric: Recently, I found an old forgotten photo of my first wife. We divorced 40 years ago after a short marriage and now I am happily married to a wonderful woman.
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I looked up her brother who told me that my ex has been married two more times and after a disastrous second marriage is now happily married with kids.
I told her brother I would love to catch up after such a long time. Her brother relayed that message, and I’ve heard nothing but crickets.
Should I keep trying or just give up?
– Reconnecting Ex
Dear Reconnecting: Sometimes no answer is an answer.
If it’s a photo that you’re sure she would want (we’re talking iconic), you can send it to her brother. She’s made it clear that she’s happy to let the past stay in the past.
I understand you’re feeling nostalgia or even curiosity about where the last four decades took her, but this photo doesn’t need to develop into a reunion.
Dear Eric: I’ve been seeing my partner for more than a year. They’re over 40, noncommittal and “don’t know what [they] want out of life.”
I’m in my late 30s and definitely want to cohabitate and consider parenthood. How do I deal with my partner?
– Noncommittal Committed
Dear Committed: It’s time for a state-of-the-union conversation.
While no one can force a partner (or friend or relative) to make goals or find purpose, you can be frank about the ways that your partner’s equivocation is affecting you. It’s fair to ask your partner if their not knowing what they want out of life includes being unsure about a future for the two of you.
Share with your partner what your goals are and how your partner fits into those goals and then ask if what you see down the road lines up with the view through their windshield. If you’re serious and your partner isn’t there yet, posing the question and talking through the answer …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
