Dear Eric: My partner (husband) and I have been together for 18 years. My sister-in-law created a “family tree” and gave copies to all family members as a gift.
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On closer inspection, my “husband” was left off the family tree, indicating that I am single. My sister-in-law and her family do not believe in gay marriage.
What should I do about this slight?
– Missing Marriage
Dear Marriage: It’s a good thing your relationship’s existence isn’t dependent upon what your sister-in-law doesn’t believe in.
Long-term relationships aren’t Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, they’re mostly taking out the garbage and texting each other things to pick up from the grocery store. (They’re also emotional support, caretaking, and commitment, and all that good stuff.)
I’m sure you’ve already had this banging-your-head-against-the-wall conversation with your in-law, but you should voice your displeasure about the tree as a way of setting an expectation about the respect you want.
Once you’ve said your piece, throw the “gift” in the trash and order your own correct tree and give it to your family.
Dear Eric: I’m a self-published fiction author. I’m really struggling with jealousy and despair.
Every time I see a published book or step into a bookstore, I feel this wave of sadness. I’m trying to get my books out there, get whatever reviews I can, and promote myself on social media but it feels impossible.
A friend just told me she won’t try out a new author unless they have thousands of good reviews on Amazon or GoodReads. My last book got about 20 good reviews after weeks of hustling.
How do I keep going? How can I redirect my thoughts when the jealousy/despair hits?
– Exhausted Author
Dear Author: I worry you’re tracking your achievements using someone else’s yardstick.
You’ve published a book. At some point in the past, that was the goal. So, you have already achieved one metric of success.
Of course, we all harbor dreams of acclaim, but those dreams are so rarely right-sized. Do you want to be a famous author or do …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
