Culture

Miss Manners: Is it OK to plug in my car without asking the homeowner?


DEAR MISS MANNERS: I visited a family for their child’s birthday party. It was my first time at their home, and I wanted to remain polite.

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I drive an electric car and to my delight, their home had two charging ports prominently visible and unoccupied. Would I have offended if I had plugged my vehicle in? Asking permission from an already-busy hostess seemed intrusive.

I know that in a reverse situation, I would have been more than happy to have someone charge at my home. A four-hour charge, even at high electricity prices, would work out to around $10 — a cost I would be happy to roll into the usual party expenses.

May I help myself?

GENTLE READER: That the charging station was prominently visible makes it a convenience for the homeowner and a temptation for you — not an invitation. The cost is beside the point.

The polite thing to do when visiting another’s home — for the first time, or the 50th — is to ask permission. Miss Manners is confident you can find a quiet moment to do so, if a top-off is necessary.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About 25 years ago, I was in a “moms of preschoolers” group. I knew some women better than others, but I considered all of them part of my larger friend group.

As our kids grew up, we stayed somewhat in touch, forming smaller groups, but those broke up during the pandemic. I haven’t seen most of these women since 2020.

One of the women passed away. She was not a close friend, so I was unaware she’d been sick for two years, but I remembered her fondly and was saddened by her death.

I planned to go to the funeral. I also replied to a group email from one of her close friends, asking the sender about bringing food.

In response, I got a lecture about how this woman’s husband (always a thorny guy) had said that only two people from this moms’ group visited his wife when she was sick, so obviously no one cared.

I would have cared, had I known she was sick. After hearing this, I felt …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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