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Why do so many women fantasise about rape?


Rape fantasies are more common than you might think, but they have nothing to do with the crime (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

Nearly two thirds of women have fantasised about being raped.

At first glance, this may feel like a shocking statistic. But if you flick through the pages of Gillian Anderson’s new book Want, you’ll discover that being forced to have sex is actually a thought that can turn some women on — even if they couldn’t imagine anything worse happening to them in real life.

Just like Nancy Friday’s collection of unspoken fantasies in My Secret Garden did 50 years before, Want – which contains the sexual desires of hundreds of women from around the world – normalises thoughts many tend to keep secret.

But even those who share their rape fantasies question why, saying it goes against their own fundamental beliefs — so how can being raped ever be considered sexy?

A fantasy that goes against feminism

Trigger warning: the following contains explicit details of extreme fantasies that involve sexual assault

In Want, a married, bisexual Jewish woman shares how she gets off to the thought of a group of men breaking into her house, covering her mouth and taking turns to have sex with her.

‘It’s [a fantasy] that goes against many of the things I value, and I used to feel very guilty about it,’ she wrote.

Gillian Anderson’s new book reveals the sexual fantasies of women around the world (Picture: Bloomsbury)

‘Sometimes they’re burglars, other times they lose their way right into my place and take the opportunity. Said opportunity, of course, is to have their way with me. So, on goes the blindfold, a hand around my mouth, another to keep me still, a few more in the room to make sure I don’t cause trouble…

‘This, the imagination of him finally breaching me, is where I’ll be rubbing myself and come directly.’

Another such fantasy comes from a single Finnish woman who masturbates to the idea of being held captive by a group of bikers, who tear all her clothes off when she attempts to escape.

As punishment they make her perform oral on each of them. ‘They guide me down to suck on all their c**ks,’ she writes. ‘They are impatient, grabbing my head or my hair, and thrusting into my mouth.

‘The activity builds, with them all touching my body and using my mouth for their pleasure, until they want more. I am laid down, and they take turns to f*** me.’

It’s crucial to reiterate that women who experience rape fantasies do not wish to be raped, nor do they condone it in any shape or form. Rape fantasists are not rape apologists.

Many Hollywood films have been criticised for glorifying rape. The Guardian condemned both Bafta-nominated Nocturnal Animals and ‘rape revenge comedy’ Elle as insults to survivors of men’s sexual violence.

But Anderson’s Want does the opposite, creating a safe space for women to share and unpack their fantasies so that others can feel seen.

The two types of rape fantasies

Psychosexual therapist Ness Cooper tells Metro …read more

Source:: Metro

      

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