For me, dirty talk is a big turn-on, says Almara (Picture: Rachel Adams 2023)
‘I want you to talk dirty to me’.
That was the honest answer to my lover’s question.
We’d just finished having sex and were gearing up for round two when Lucas* surprised me by asking if there’s anything I particularly enjoy in bed.
I’d known exactly which fantasy I wanted to try the moment he’d asked, but there’d been a brief pause while I decided whether or not to tell him the truth.
Now that I had, he was silent.
Panic began to set in as I wondered if I’d said something wrong.
I worried my kink wasn’t to his liking and that I’d killed the mood completely by suggesting something too far out of his comfort zone.
And while I was not, and am not, ashamed of my desires, I couldn’t deny that I felt awkward at that moment.
For those who know me well, or certainly read my column regularly, this might sound surprising.
Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro’s sex and dating newsletter
Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?
Sign up to The Hook-Up and we’ll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can’t wait for you to join us!
On the surface I am a confident woman. I’m seen as the ‘big bad sex writer’, the one constantly suggesting that you try something new and the one you go to for answers about sexual dilemmas.
Naturally, you wouldn’t think I have them myself. Yet as my situation with Lucas proves, I absolutely do.
I’m not above feeling embarrassed about expressing my desires, Almara explains (Picture: Rachel Adams 2023)
We all have our insecurities that creep up now and then and it turns out, telling my lover that I wanted him to talk dirty to me, was one of mine.
A new survey released by the dating app Flure earlier this month – which, coincidentally, coincided with National Kink Month – revealed that 61% of people hide their sexual fantasies from their partners.
I would imagine that, like me, many people worry about how their other half will react to their carnal pleasure of choice. And the kinkier the request, the more likely we are to stay quiet.
Suppressing your desires could lead to boredom in the bedroom. So it was no surprise to me that, of those same participants, 53% said they felt ‘unfulfilled’ in their sex lives.
That’s why, ultimately, I chose to share mine with Lucas.
At this point in my life I like to think I am an expert at getting myself off.
I’m not bragging, I promise, but I have had a lot of sex with a lot of people and I’ve taken the time to listen to my body when going solo too.
I’m a writer – words are my life (Picture: Rachel Adams 2023)
So, to me, it is now simply a fact that the more you experiment, the more you get …read more
Source:: Metro
