Lib Dem Layla Moran, Labour’s Stella Creasy and Speaker Lindsay Hoyle have submitted their pets for the contest (Picture: REX/Battersea Cats and Dogs Home)
The UK General Election, Conservative leadership contest and race for the White House may now be over, but 2024’s real political catfight is about to begin.
And by ‘political catfight’… yes, we mean a fight between political cats.
Battersea Dogs and Cats Home is once again holding its competition to find parliament’s favourite pet cat, with the winner being crowned ‘Purr Minister’.
The much-loved animal charity has sent Metro the list of the 12 nominees, all owned by MPs or peers, and the release is packed with enough puns to make your eyes water. Not all of the jokes are good, or even necessarily work.
Since the vote is open to the public, we thought we could present the candidates (‘cat-idates’) and their manifestos (‘manifurstos’) and apply the same rigid political analysis we would for any high-stakes election.
Voting closes at 5pm on November 14, so you have around a week to act. Ballots can be cast in confidence on the Battersea website. Meet the 12 hopefuls below.
Attlee
Sir Lindsay hopes another of his many pets will take the crown (Picture: Battersea Dogs and Cats Home)
Owner: Speaker of the House Sir Lindsay Hoyle MP
‘Manifursto’: ‘Why should I be Purr Minister? I know ‘Furrskine’ May like the back of my paw. As a DiploCat, I have a firm claw on international diplomacy and strengthening inter-purrlimentary ties. I respect the hiss-tory of Purr-liament and will purr-tect the parliamentary community. I’ll be an Advocate for ensuring fellow felines have a purrfect experience in the House.’
Our take: Sir Lindsay won the previous ‘Purr Minister’ contest in 2020 (it has not been held for the past three years) with his cat Patrick, who sadly died in 2022. The 67-year-old is having another pop this year with Attlee – presumably he’s saving his other cat, Clem, for next year’s tournament.
If you’re confused by that first pun, by the way, Erskine May is the name of the guidebook for parliamentary procedure. An extremely on-brand joke for the Speaker.
Chilli and Bandit
Chilli and Bandit pop up frequently on Stella Creasy’s social media (Picture: Battersea Dogs and Cats Home)
Owner: Labour’s Stella Creasy MP
‘Manifursto’: ‘At just seven months old, we’re relentless cat welfare campaigners from Clawthamstow whose whiskers and wide eyes pawmote awareness about neutering and microchipping. When not playing kitty uppy with balloons or stealing croissants, we are also ally cats making feline femeownist videos.’
Our take: The Green Party has previously proposed that MPs should be allowed to run on a joint job-share ticket for a single seat, but didn’t get very far. No such issues in this contest: the Walthamstow MP’s pair of kittens – named for the mum and dad in beloved cartoon Bluey – are free to stand alongside each other.
Evidence of croissant-snatching here and femeownist video here.
Clement Cattlee and Mo Meowlam
The pair are known as Clem and Mo …read more
Source:: Metro
