Like a good Sikh boy, I prayed every day that my life would be a happy one (Picture: Instagram)
‘So you’re a bender, like Beckham?!’
These were the words my brother jokingly blurted out when I came out to him. Honestly, I was relieved he spoke at all.
True to his playful nature, he lightened a deeply difficult moment, giving me exactly what I needed. I was even impressed by his reference!
Coming out in traditionally conservative communities, like my South Asian Sikh one, is often depicted as a tumultuous journey.
However, amidst the expected turmoil, there are stories of acceptance, love, and celebration that shine brightly, redefining the narrative.
This is the story of one such experience – a journey that defied those expectations and strengthened my relationship with my family more than I ever imagined.
Growing up in a close-knit South Asian Sikh community in Kent meant adhering to certain cultural expectations; like going to temple every Sunday, praying and thanking God for everything you had in life, and living with a strong sense of duty.
Dr Ranj (R) with his two accepting brothers (Picture: Ranj Singh)
It also left little room for discussions about sexuality and identity.
Like every child, I dreamt of a perfect life: a dream job, marriage and children. And like a good Sikh boy, I prayed every day that my life would be a happy one.
But looking back, I always sensed I was different.
Sexuality was never a black-and-white matter to me, but being anything but straight didn’t seem like it was part of my life. So, I followed the expected path, and life was pretty regular for a while.
It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I realised something was amiss. I’d achieved everything I had ever dreamed of: I was a paediatric doctor, married, and living in my own home.
Yet, I wasn’t truly happy. As my relationship broke down and after intense counselling, I came to a crashing conclusion that I had been living my life without being true to myself, or anyone else.
If I was going to be truly happy, I had to be true (Picture: Suzan Moore/PA)
Life felt like it shattered at that point. I was lost with no sense of who I was anymore. Nothing made sense and in a moment of desperation, I took myself to a local Sikh temple hoping I might find answers.
As I sat quietly in the temple hall with tears streaming down my face, asking God why I was suffering so much when I had done everything I was supposed to, it dawned on me.
If I was going to be truly happy, I had to be true.
The concept of truth is a very important one in Sikhism and this felt like the sign I had been waiting for.
My two younger brothers, then aged 27 and 29, were among the first people I told. Their reactions were incredible. They found the news …read more
Source:: Metro
