It was one of those moments that’s so bizarre you just go with it, says Chris (Picture: Chris Weir)
There are moments of adulthood that seem inevitable…
Getting your driving licence and immediately going to a McDonald’s Drive Thru. The 18th birthday rager and the earned next day coma. And of course the more refined 30th soiree that results in a somehow worse hangover.
Then, there are the moments that you never would imagine happening to you – like the day I had a threesome in a sex shop with two total strangers.
I went into an ‘adult’ shop (in an undisclosed UK city) on an unremarkable Wednesday afternoon.
I’d gone in, not to marvel and snicker at the dildos and porn titles as I would in my younger days, but to genuinely peruse the goods.
Previously, I’d always been a little reticent to build my own sexual arsenal. It seemed like a faff, a bit expensive, and – depending on how much you commit – a real storage issue.
But my curiosity to try new things had recently been sparked by a much more adventurous friend, who’d shown me the comprehensive box of toys under his bed.
From butt plugs to cock cages to the girthiest dildos, he was truly exploring the depths of himself – and I suddenly felt very vanilla by comparison.
Chris was no stranger to hookups, but this was something new (Picture: Chris Weir)
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It was a quiet day in the sex shop so I started chatting to the guy behind the till while thumbing through jockstraps.
He had sweet eyes, a cheeky smile and a blue streak in his hair that made him look like an X-Men character (in this case, triple-X).
The conversation soon turned flirtatious and he asked: ‘Do you want to try that on?’
I considered the jockstrap I was holding, then glanced around for a non-existent changing room. ‘Where?’ I asked, perplexed.
With a mischievous look on his face, the sales assistant moved a rack of merchandise aside to reveal a hidden door behind the wall.
It was one of those moments that’s so bizarre you just go with it, no further questions.
At first, Chris gave up on what could have been (Picture: Chris Weir)
So I closed the door of what appeared to be a stock cupboard behind me and started stripping.
By this point, I’d got a sense of where this was leading and my excitement was palpable. While I was no stranger to hookups, this was something new.
Unfortunately, just as I reached full birthday suit, I heard the shop door clang open and a couple of customers come in. Triple-X started chatting to them, and I waited, naked, a …read more
Source:: Metro
