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I invited a 20-year-old back to mine but couldn’t face our 10-year age gap


Jamie Valentino looking over his shoulder and smiling, with mountains and trees in the background

Jamie Valentino found he couldn’t hook up with someone his younger brother’s age (Picture: Jamie Valentino)

As Evan* leaned in to kiss me again, my nerves made me state the obvious reason that we could never work.

‘Dude, you’re 20!’ I blurted out.

Granted, this wasn’t exactly a flaw he had control over – but it was one I couldn’t see past.

‘I turn 21 in a few weeks!’ he replied, as if that was a countdown to maturity and somehow made things better. ‘Besides, you don’t look much older than me,’ he added.

God bless him, I thought, knowing full well that my Botox, 7,000-step skincare routine, and countless green juices likely were working overtime to cover up the almost 10 years between us.

By all accounts, Evan was a man: muscular, assertive, undeniably horny and he didn’t seem to care if I returned his compliments – though perhaps that’s because he was more interested in getting me to stroke something other than his ego.

And yet, when I looked at him, all I could think about was the imbalance of power and the responsibility I felt over him. I realised then that I’d wildly overestimated my ability to overlook his youth.

‘You’re a kid!’ I said after he revealed his age (Picture: Jamie Valentino)

When Evan first messaged me, his profile didn’t show his age (Grindr lets you be as anonymous as you wish).

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He appeared young though, he sent his nudes before I even knew his name. But after we exchanged a few messages, I asked him for an answer, it turns out, I didn’t want to hear.

‘You’re a kid!’ I said after he revealed his age.

‘What?’ he replied. ‘I really am 20! I can show you my ID.’ 

If anything, this reply only cemented his youth.

In a way, it was cute that he thought I didn’t believe him rather than realising my discomfort with our age gap. But ultimately that’s what it felt like for me: uncomfortable.

Putting the other immediate issues I had – like him living with his mum and, worst of all, being closeted – to one side, already I was grappling with viewing him as a liability rather than just a lover.

In the past, I’ve typically been the younger one in my sexual conquests (Picture: Jamie Valentino)

I had visions of his mum knocking at my door like a frantic Karen, threatening to sue me for showing her son the ride of his life.

Maybe I was giving myself too much credit, but my concerns weren’t unfounded, even if they were hypocritical.

In the past, I’ve typically been the younger one in my sexual conquests and romantic …read more

Source:: Metro

      

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