It is disappointing when the people we love don’t show up in the way that we want them to (Picture: Getty)
Metro’s agony aunt Em Clarkson is here to solve all your problems.
This week, she’s giving out sound advice on how to help someone struggling with their mental health and how to get your friends to be more supportive.
Read on for this week’s reader conundrums and Em’s guidance.
I’ve recently found out I’m coeliac. It’s been a long time to get a diagnosis and I am glad that I finally know what’s been causing me so much pain and discomfort over the years. Since cutting out gluten, I feel empowered in my body for the first time in years and like I can be myself again.
But my family and lots of my friends are being actively unhelpful. From dismissing the severity of coeliac disease, to inviting me round to dinner only to have made meals containing gluten, to not checking whether I can even eat at restaurants they’ve booked, it’s incredibly frustrating.
I get that they may not understand, but considering they’ve seen me go through hell the past few years, I really thought they might be slightly more empathetic.
This IS incredibly frustrating and while I’m delighted that you have finally got your diagnosis and are starting to feel better within yourself, I’m really sorry that so many of the people in your life have been so unhelpful.
I don’t want to make excuses for them because their behaviour is not only really selfish and hurtful, but as I have no doubt you already know, you’re living with a condition shrouded in misconception and one that has wrongly (and fairly consistently) been stigmatised.
So much social media and media chatter over the last 10 years has been about how ‘millennials can’t handle anything anymore’. Everything from gluten free pasta, to vegan sausage rolls, to suffering with your mental health has been politicised as part of this ‘war on woke’ stuff.
Metro columnist Emily Clarkson is here to answer your questions (Picture: Natasha Pszenicki)
It feels inevitable, therefore, that conditions like coeliac disease are being totally undermined, and I imagine it’s incredibly exasperating for you, as a sufferer, to have to contend with all these preconceptions and assumptions, on top of the physical side of things.
Like I say, I don’t want to excuse away their behaviour because it isn’t acceptable, but I think that might go a way to explaining why the severity of the condition is often underestimated.
With that in mind I think you need to be really clear with your boundaries, as painful and uncomfortable as that might feel. You need to tell your friends and family: ‘I cannot come to dinner if you can’t ensure that the food prepared is totally gluten free. I can bring my own food if that is easier, or you can come to mine, but I need to be 100% sure before I come over, that this is something you can do. …read more
Source:: Metro
