I will never forget how proud I felt representing my community, as an openly transgender man (Picture: James Stack/Getty)
I’ve been making noise since I was a kid.
Soon, that noise turned into rhythm; rhythm turned into songs, and songwriting turned into something that kept me alive.
As a child who understood himself only as ‘a boy inside a girl’s body’, the one place I felt I could truly express myself was on stage singing.
Looking up at heroes like David Bowie, it felt safe for me to be slightly unusual, like them – as long as I was making music.
In the early days the songs I wrote were about secret crushes I had on girls in school. However, I did write one song that was about a girl who was always being misunderstood.
It was called ‘Miss Conception’ and had the chorus lyric: ‘I wonder if you know when you were looking at her, you were also looking at me’.
The song was about me. About my identity, and feeling trapped inside someone else’s skin.
After that, I went on to release music under a few different stage names, but mostly under Lots Holloway, and was lucky enough to have a stream of successful singles between 2017-2019.
Dylan had forced himself to become someone else (Picture: Dylan Holloway)
I felt like no one knew the real me, explains Dylan (Picture: James_Stack)
In 2020 however, my life came to a complete halt (much like everyone else’s).
Not only were we in the trappings of a pandemic, meaning I was unable to gig and make money, but in slowing down and taking a look at my life, I also decided I could no longer live as the person I was pretending to be.
From the age of 15 I had really struggled to accept myself, and so had forced myself to become someone else, someone I thought everyone wanted me to be.
I’d created a character with a cheeky grin and a huge ego whom everyone seemed to like. And for a while, I was actually convinced I would be able to live that lie forever.
Aged 27, Dylan came out to his family, friends and fans, publicly, as a transgender man (Picture: RioCarciero)
Dylan was scared that taking testosterone as part of HRT could impact his singing voice – which it did (Picture: Dylan Holloway)
But having a secret life, with secret dreams and secret desires while keeping up this external bravado for the world was tiring and isolating. I felt like no one knew the real me, I’d never felt so lonely.
So, aged 27, I came out to my family, friends and fans, publicly, as a transgender man.
I then removed myself from social media and began my transition in private, scared that taking testosterone as part of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) could potentially impact my singing voice – which it did.
Dylan was was terrified that the one place he’d felt accepted could be stripped away from him (Picture: James_Stack)
Gradually, my range became increasingly smaller – due to my vocal chords, pitching, tone …read more
Source:: Metro
