Women are reclaiming the word ‘lesbian’ (Picture: Getty / BBC)
When contestants on Britain’s first ever dating show for ‘girls who like girls’ were asked how they feel about the term ‘lesbian’, it opened up an interesting and important dialogue about the evolution of language – and how it can be used in some instances to undermine, offend and cause harm.
‘I just say “I’m gay“. I don’t like using the word “lesbian”‘, said Naee.
‘I just say “I’m into girls” or I say “I’m queer”,’ Abbie agreed.
Georgia, the I Kissed a Girl contestant who initially posed the question, then proudly reclaimed the term, after sharing her own struggles with the word and its negative connotations.
But the stigma surrounding the word isn’t anything new. In 2022, research by charity Just Like Us found that 68% feared they would be perceived as ‘man-hating’, ‘over-sexualised’ or ‘anti-trans’ by coming out as lesbian. And the over-sexualisation of lesbians was found to be the biggest barrier for young lesbians aged 18 to 24 (36%).
Contestants on the BBC’s I Kissed A Girl dating show questioned the term ‘lesbian’ (Credits: BBC/Twofour)
So, what is it about the L-word?
Sarah Stella Edwards, LGBTQ+ consultant at SheSpot, a sexual wellness service for women, explains how the word has been misappropriated over time.
‘Particularly back when lesbians had very little representation in the media, they were seen and labelled as “butch” or “manly”, but lesbians have never been a monolith,’ she told Metro.co.uk.
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‘I think the rise in lesbian porn also has a lot to answer for, in terms of how lesbians are perceived by society,’ she adds. ‘Lesbians in porn are often portrayed as hypersexualised and something to fantasise over, for the male gaze.’
The results of Pornhub’s 2023 Year in Review speak to this, with ‘lesbian’ being the biggest search term in the US last year – as it was in 2017 and 2019 also.
‘Some lesbians distance themselves from the word “lesbian” because there are so many conflicting connotations to the word that don’t resonate with them, and they prefer to self-label as “gay” or “queer”,’ Sarah says.
It isn’t just humans who view the term negatively
Searches for ‘lesbian’ often bring up results of porn (Picture: Getty)
Robyn Exton, founder of Her, the largest dating app for women, non-binary and trans people within the LGBTQ community, also highlights how the word ‘lesbian’ is penalised in search engines and often flagged as spam in people’s inboxes or blocked by internet providers.
‘In the early days of the business [which launched in 2015], it was really challenging – especially when it came to SEO. There was so much …read more
Source:: Metro
