DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years, and we just graduated from college a year ago.
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We’d like to continue dating for some time before getting married for numerous reasons — including (but not limited to) the cost, the lack of vacation days in our entry-level jobs, and commitments to attend other weddings, including my sister’s.
We’re committed to one another; it’s just a matter of timing. However, I feel that this is nobody’s business but our own.
I’m from the South, where relationships that begin in college carry the expectation of an immediate marriage proposal upon graduation.
I’m getting very tired of deflecting distant relatives and acquaintances who keep asking (often in a rude and judgmental way), “When are you and X getting engaged?”
Firstly, I’d like to be surprised by his proposal, so I genuinely don’t know. But I also feel that it’s rude to ask — in a similar way as asking, “When are you going to get pregnant?” or “Why are you single?”
How should I respond to this question without doubling the rudeness of the inquirer? I’ve been asked repeatedly since age 18 — and I am now an old maid, by Southern standards, at 23.
GENTLE READER: “We don’t have any immediate plans to become engaged,” to which Miss Manners would append, “but thank you so much for asking” — which she has been given to understand is the Southern way of saying, “so mind your own business.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a wonderful hostess in my neighborhood who really goes all out in terms of food and ambiance for her guests.
She is a mentor to me, inspiring me to host gatherings and reciprocate hospitality.
There is one habit of hers that makes me pause: She tends to announce, to all her guests, just how time-consuming and involved her efforts were.
Simple party snacks are actually not so simple: “I pickled the vegetables, which were sourced from a farm stand. I baked …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
