DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am newly married and trying hard to keep up with appropriate appreciation for all those who have offered well wishes and gifts.
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I have a conundrum about how to handle gifts from a group of people.
My husband’s cousin mailed a gift and signed the note, “With love from [Cousin, spouse; Daughter 1, spouse; Son, spouse; Daughter 2, spouse].” I suppose she ran out of room for the six grandchildren’s names!
These couples all live separately. Should I mail one letter to the cousin, or send notes to each household? If I send one, should I address it to the cousin or to all eight of them individually? They don’t share a last name, so I can’t use “Smith family.”
Thankfully, I know that I must keep my thoughts about these well-to-do people sending a gift that amounts to $5 per adult to myself … and maybe my new husband.
GENTLE READER: You may also want to be careful about how you share that information with your new husband: He might notice that it is his relatives you would be calling cheap.
Miss Manners recommends that you address your letter to the cousin, in the course of which you can thank her “and the family.” She does not recommend four separate letters not because she thinks that is too much effort, but rather out of concern that not everyone on the list would know what you were talking about.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you please advise me on the proper way for individuals to serve themselves when passing dishes at a family-style dinner?
My mother emphasized that when one says, “Please pass the rolls,” and the breadbasket is passed around the table, the requester should accept the breadbasket in their hands with polite thanks and then hold it or set it down before selecting a roll.
Consequently, I find myself feeling surprised and irritated when I’m the one extending the breadbasket to the requester and they take a roll — quite often without an expression of thanks — and happily begin buttering it while I am left holding the basket. I’m then …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
