DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was a guest at a dinner party where the host had an overnight guest staying.
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I needed to wash my hands after petting their dog, because the dog had visibly dirtied them, so I used the nearest washroom. It was off the living area where everyone was mingling, and I had seen other guests using it.
While I was washing my hands, I heard the hostess rather loudly and passive-aggressively say to her overnight guest, “We need to train the others not to use your bathroom!”
I immediately felt like such an imposition for using the (apparently) wrong bathroom. We weren’t given any sort of tour of their home.
Should I not have assumed it was OK to use the nearest room, which other guests were using? Could the hostess have handled it differently? Please advise so I won’t use the wrong washroom in the future.
GENTLE READER: Well, the hostess could have lived with your innocent mistake without resorting to insult. She could also have proactively declared, “If anyone needs the restroom, it’s the first door down the hall to your left.”
Miss Manners always finds a direct approach beforehand, rather than a passive one afterward, not only polite, but effective.
In general, the most polite thing for you (and other guests) to do is to ask directions to the bathroom, even if you have seen one. No explanation of dog slobber necessary.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Prior to a two-day class/workshop, the instructor emailed the roster to all the students. This roster included everyone’s names, addresses, email addresses and phone numbers.
In an email to the instructor, I politely inquired if it was necessary to have done so, and I was told that it was to enable students to stay in contact once the course was finished.
I replied that while I would be glad to give out my information if asked, there are some people who are concerned about privacy issues. Her response was that she wouldn’t give out MY information, should anyone ask her for it.
Am I wrong in thinking that students’ permission should be a prerequisite for …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
