DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an appropriate, polite way to handle toxic family members whom you have had no contact with in years who, when they do happen to run into you in a public place, insist on hugging you and saying they love you? When in fact, their actions over your entire life have proven otherwise?
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I don’t feel as though I should be subject to these uncomfortable and definitely unwanted encounters, nor do I have any feelings of love for these individuals.
Is there a polite way to avoid the physical contact and the “I love you,” which I have no response for at all?
GENTLE READER: It is difficult to escape a hug in public without inspiring passersby to call the police. But just as you do not echo the declaration of love, you need not cooperate with the hug. Just let your arms remain at your side, Miss Manners suggests.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What are the three main subjects you should not discuss socially?
GENTLE READER: Only three? You must be joking.
The old rule was that politics, sex and religion should not be discussed in casual conversation among people whose sensitivities and opinions were unknown to one another. The rationale was to avoid offending anyone unintentionally.
This rule fell into disuse — and ridicule from some, who responded, “So, we are only supposed to talk about the weather?” They would argue that those three subjects are important, and that people can be trusted to handle them in a mature way.
Ha.
Now, almost any topic causes offense. Politics, of course. Sex, not because people are squeamish (which has not been the case in a century, if ever), but in regard to issues of orientation and identity. Religion, not only because it is intertwined with politics and sex, but also as an identity issue.
But those three are not all. Food, for example, has become a controversial subject in terms of both nutrition and ethics. As for the weather being the only “safe” topic left — not if the conversation turns to climate change.
The real problem is not subject matter, but people who no longer …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
