DEAR HARRIETTE: My son, who is in his early 20s, has been kicked out of two colleges.
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The reasons for his expulsions are difficult for me to talk about, but they’ve shaken my confidence in his future. He’s always been smart, but somewhere along the way, things went off course, and now I’m not sure how to steer him back in the right direction.
As his parent, I want nothing more than for him to graduate from college, find a fulfilling career and build a stable life for himself, but with these setbacks I’m starting to fear that his opportunities are slipping away.
The idea of him getting into another college — let alone graduating — feels daunting, and I worry about how this will affect his ability to find a job in the future.
I’ve tried talking to him, but he’s become more withdrawn and defensive. He doesn’t seem to recognize the gravity of the situation, and I’m concerned that if we don’t find a way to address this now, he’ll continue down a path that will make it even harder for him to turn things around.
How can I help him rebuild his life and get back on track when it feels like everything is falling apart?
— Time To Reset
DEAR TIME TO RESET: Whatever happened — twice — to get your son kicked out of school needs to be addressed directly.
See if he will go to counseling to talk about what’s been happening in his life and why he has gotten himself into his current situation. A professional can be extremely beneficial right now.
Being a college graduate is not the only way to become successful. Rather than worrying and wondering about how to get him back into a college, talk to him about his desires for his future. What does he want to do with his life? What will he do now to earn money?
Don’t give him an out. He is an adult, and it is time for him to earn a living of some kind. You should not coddle him. Require him to find a job and begin to take responsibility for himself.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 36-year-old …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
