Dear Eric: A high school acquaintance recently passed away and the first thought that came into my mind was what a bully he was to me.
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We did meet later on in life, and he was pleasant but, still, the fact that he bullied me was my first thought and how I remember him.
I can think of people offhand that I didn’t treat the best and I don’t want to be remembered negatively.
I have been looking forward since then and have worked to treat my current acquaintances and friends with patience and respect, but I’m wondering if it’s worth it to go back and apologize for the behavior of these past incidents.
– Want to be Remembered Positively
Dear Positively: That old adage is true: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
But an opposite sentiment deserves some love, too: It’s rarely too late to change a lasting impression.
Reach out to the people you feel you’ve wronged, acknowledge what you did and how it must have affected them, and ask how you can help rectify it.
It’s important that you’re coming from a place of wanting to make amends. You can’t do this just so that people won’t say mean things at your funeral. It should be, at least in part, altruistic and motivated by a desire to right what you set wrong.
Now, regardless of your intent, these people may not see things the same way you did. Maybe it didn’t bother them at all. Maybe they’re not in a place of forgiveness. But you lose nothing by trying.
Dear Eric: My husband and I have an active sex life. But, after sex, he says “thank you.”
I know he appreciates it, but I feel a bit cheap after hearing him say that. I would prefer something like “I love you.” I’ve told him that, but he doesn’t seem to understand.
Am I being petty, or should I expect more?
– No Thank You
Dear No Thank You: “Thank you” is sweet, but if it feels less like …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment