Dear Eric: I began dating a very nice man a few months ago. He is pleasant, cheerful, respectful and good-looking. Any woman would fall head over heels in love with him.
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But not me. I need to break up with a very nice man, and I don’t want to hurt him.
All our conversations revolve around him. I’m an audience for him, not a partner. He seems to have zero physical attraction to me. And he’s made a few comments that make me question if our core values are farther apart than I thought.
He is in very poor health, and I am worried that any emotional stress could impact his health. How do I break up with him without hurting him?
– Painless Breakup
Dear Painless: It’s a cliché but “I think we’re better as friends” still works. You can, if you want, go into the ways that you’re incompatible with each other. But you really don’t have to.
Part of having adult relationships is knowing that dating doesn’t always work out. You can be kind and respectful while still being clear about what you need.
Dear Eric: My son and his husband have been married for 14 years. When they first visited, we did not want to make a great show of it or tell the greater family all at the same time. We were fearful of hurtful gossip/statements.
My son and then-boyfriend took great offense at this and stopped contact with us for a while.
We had known our son was gay for a few years; we were OK with this. He had just graduated from college (which we paid for); he moved to his new boyfriend’s hometown and married a year later.
We apologized over and over for anything we did wrong. He and his fiancé hammered us during many phone calls. We gave them an engagement party; they met all the greater family. We helped pay for and attended the wedding. We felt unwelcome.
We had tried to visit them every year. They are cordial, but mostly talk at us. They have never returned for holidays.
He is 38 now. I am …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment
