She took me along to their houses and made me promise to keep her secrets (Picture: Getty)
A couple of months before my wedding, my mum told me that I was no longer a part of the family.
She disowned me because my husband and I had decided not to invite my brother to our big day.
As a result, neither of my parents attended and we haven’t spoken since. This year approaching 20.
My father fell madly in love with my mother – abandoning his seminary studies to court her.
Sadly, she didn’t feel the same way, but was forced to marry him by my grandmother, who thought marrying into a highly regarded family would ‘tame’ her daughter.
Marriage, however, did not stop my mother from seeing her boyfriends.
She dated multiple men through her work as a short-hand typist, and just a couple of weeks after they wed, my dad discovered her in their marital bed with another man.
This cycle would repeat itself over and over in their marriage – I know, because she took me along to their houses and made me promise to keep her secrets.
I once had to get out of my mum’s car, run across a busy road, and get into her boyfriend’s car so she could continue to outrun my dad who was tailing her.
Growing up in our family for me, therefore, was like walking on eggshells.
I always had to gauge my mum’s mood and alter my behaviour to suit her – if she was cranky at something, she would take it out on me. My brother, meanwhile, was respected.
I was seven when I began to realise I was being treated differently than my brother.
My dad, for whatever reason, thought it was appropriate to put on a hard-core pornographic movie while I was snacking after school
He seemed to be my parent’s favourite, but I wasn’t sure why. Admittedly I had my hunches, but these wouldn’t be confirmed until much later.
Every evening my mum would tell me what an awful husband my father was. However she’d then threaten to stop loving me if I revealed her affairs. Said I’d be responsible for breaking up the family.
She made me her best friend and confidant, but this had two profound effects on my childhood.
At times I felt trusted and loved by her but, if I did something that upset my brother, she would blurt out hurtful comments, such as: ‘Your sister is evil like her father’.
These moments sent me spinning into confusion and betrayal: Was I not her friend? Had I not kept all her secrets? Was I evil?
But by keeping her secrets, I also felt alienated from my father and brother – I sometimes felt like an outsider in my own family.
My father would tell me I was in cahoots with my mother – that I was a slut and a whore like her.
My brother, witnessing my dad repeatedly taking my mother back after her affairs were exposed, would say I was a bitch for being …read more
Source:: Metro
