How to have the difficult money conversation about a friend’s wedding

Picture of bridal party with money behind them

Financial pressure puts strains on relationships (Picture: Getty/

So, you’ve got the invite.

Your friend is about to get married and experience one of the best days of their life.

You couldn’t be happier for them – but panic quickly sets in.

On top of fuel costs, rent and general living expenses, you struggle to see where you will get the money to fund the nuptials.

Because weddings don’t come cheap.

From the hen party and the outfit to the hair and accommodation (not to mention the gift), it all adds up and financial stress is inevitable.

This is only exasperated when the wedding is a destination ceremony and flights come into the mix.

Situations like as this can cause strain on relationships – but how do you approach the conversation with a friend?

Open and honest

Claire Thompson, senior wedding consultant for The Wedding Travel Company, says to wait for the chat a little white after invitations are sent out.

‘Wait because the bride and groom are likely in talks with all of their guests, receiving replies to their RSVPs, and immediately might not be the right time to have the conversation,’ she explains.

‘You have been invited to the wedding because you matter to the couple, and so you should hopefully be met with understanding when expressing concerns about being able to afford to attend their wedding.

‘Whether or not you’re comfortable enough to discuss your financial pressures with the couple will likely depend on how close you are with them. But at the end of the day, a couple will know that flying abroad for a wedding or staying in hotels isn’t going to be doable for everyone, especially high costs are involved.

‘Reasonable people would rather you be honest.’

To have a healthy and honest conversation about money with the bride or groom, Claire says the best policy is honesty.

Be open and respectful but do aim to make your concerns clear.

Be clear

‘Approach the subject with caution, an open mind, and be honest,’ she advises.

‘If you’re close friends or family with the couple you’ll already know of their plans before invites are sent out, and it might be worth having the conversation beforehand, so they’re aware. I’d definitely recommend this if you’re a part of the wedding, such as a bridesmaid or groomsman, as this will have an impact on what plans are made.

‘They also might be willing to alleviate some of the cost for you, although you shouldn’t expect this. It’s better to have this conversation in person or over the phone, as opposed to text.

‘There are lots of discounts available when booking package weddings abroad that large groups can benefit from, so make sure you have all the information from the couple before you make your decision. Ask them if there are any other ways costs can be reduced.’

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Source:: Metro


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