How to feel confident during sex if your body has changed

woman looking in mirror and feeling confident

One in 10 women in the UK feel self-conscious about their bodies during sex (Credits: Shutterstock/

Strictly Come Dancing stars Ola and James Jordan recently spoke about their sex life declining due to their respective weight gain, saying: ‘the bellies get in the way of us when it comes to sex – It’s not as exciting’.

They’re certainly not the only people to have felt this way.

While Ola and James seem to be keeping positive about their experiences with weight gain, many people feel distressed over their bodies – particularly in the context of sex. In the UK, 61% of adults feel negative or ‘very negative’ about their body image ‘most of the time’. And when it comes to the bedroom, one in 10 women in the UK feel self-conscious about their bodies during sex, according to research from 2019 about body and sexual confidence, along with 3% of British men. 

One of those women is 35-year-old stay at home mum Joanne.

‘After I finished having all my kids – three boys – my body was changed forever,’ she tells ‘My husband says he still thinks I’m hot but I don’t believe him. How can he? My body is so different from when we started seeing each other ten years ago.’

Retail assistant Aimee, 26, feels similarly, sharing: ‘My boyfriend and I have been going through a dry spell since we had our baby. My belly is huge and my boobs are on the floor and I just can’t imagine him wanting to have sex with me.”’

Many people, especially women, feel pressure to adhere to specific body standards (namely being thin) to make themselves more desirable for sex. But while significant weight gain might impact your mobility in some ways (James Jordan, for instance, shared that he misses being able to hold Ola over his head), it doesn’t affect your desirability, your worth, nor your access to sexual pleasure.

In fact, one study into weight gain’s correlation with sexual frequency showed that the volume of sexual activity amongst participants ‘did not differ significantly by weight status’. In fact, sexually active overweight or obese men and women who were overweight had more regular sexual intercourse than those who were not. 

HR assistant Hattie, 27, says her sex life improved after her and her husband gained weight.

‘Perhaps it helped that neither of us noticed our weight gain until we were really thinking about it, but we started having sex so much more after we got fat,’ she tells us. ‘There’s so much more of us to play with!’

Hattie recommends ‘leaning in’ to your new body and using it for sex instead of ‘being mean to it’.

‘Bellies don’t get in the way of sex, they get involved,’ she says. ‘Have your partner touch and kiss your new belly. And do that for him too. Take it as an opportunity to have new kinds of squishy sex.’

Hattie’s …read more

Source:: Metro


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