Ask Amy: My boyfriend said I disrespected him, then he disappeared

Dear Amy: I have been in a long-distance relationship for a year. My boyfriend and I live in different countries.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune) 

We used to meet once a month, but since the pandemic, we have not seen one another for seven months. We keep in constant communication through texting, video calls and voice messages. This has helped to maintain our bond.

Unfortunately, when we have a very simple misunderstanding, he withdraws and goes silent on me for days — even for a week — where he won’t answer my calls or respond to text messages.

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This has happened more than 10 times over the course of the year, and it really drains me emotionally.

Recently we had a pretty innocent disagreement, but he said that I have abused and disrespected him, and that he won’t stand for it.

He said our relationship is fatigued and needs a breather. He then said that we need a “health break.” He never defined how long this break should be.

Since then, total radio silence. He won’t respond to any of my efforts to reach him. Of course, I apologized for what I said through a voice message.

Prior to this, we haven’t had any unresolved issues.

Please tell me why he behaves this way. If a man says, “we need a break,” is he ever coming back to the relationship?

Break, or Break-up?

Dear Break: I don’t know why your boyfriend behaves this way, but you don’t need to understand or decode his motivations. You need only to accept his actions as an authentic reflection of how he operates when he is uncomfortable, and ultimately respect his wishes.

When someone asks for a break, they should receive it. You should consider it permanent, move on, and — if he contacts you — weigh your options.

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been together for 20 years (married for 12). He is from the UK (Wales).

When we visit his relatives and friends in Wales, everyone is kind enough to speak English while I am in the room (Welsh is their native language). When we are in the States, my husband speaks to his family and friends frequently on the phone — always in Welsh.

I find this rude, and when I mentioned it, he said …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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