Ask Amy: I get the sense her fiancé is much more attracted to men

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

DEAR AMY: My wife’s sister is getting married in five months.

Both my sister-in-law and her fiance come from cultures that are not accepting of homosexuality.

I’ve only spent a few weeks total around my sister-in-law’s fiance, but after a few meetings I started getting an impression that he might be attracted much more to men than to women.

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He doesn’t seem overly physically affectionate — and sometimes he seems downright aversive — to my sister-in-law, while I’ve seen him be quite physically affectionate to old male friends.

I like and respect him as a person, and he genuinely seems to mostly treat my sister-in-law well.

I’ve talked with my wife about this, and both of us are utterly unsure if we should do anything, and if so, what we might do.

Any thoughts on how best to proceed?

Utterly Unsure

DEAR UNSURE: Congratulations! You are about to have a new in-law. And congratulations! You don’t need to have an opinion — or do anything at all — regarding his sexuality.

He might be straight, but acculturated to maintaining a physical distance from women. He might be gay and closeted for cultural (or other) reasons.

Your sister-in-law might be straight or gay, and marrying for love or for cultural or financial reasons.

The beauty is that unless your in-laws solicit your opinion on their marriage, you can — and should — accept this couple at face value.

DEAR AMY: My wife (who is 64) recently discovered a new cousin, “Meg,” (also in her 60s) through DNA testing.

Meg lives in a different part of the country and although they have not met in person, they communicate via social media and email, and have since become close friends.

My wife’s uncle, at the time of his affair with Meg’s mom, was married with four young kids. He recently passed away.

My wife’s aunt is in her late 80s and suffers from dementia. She is in very poor health. She has no idea that her late husband fathered a child 60 years ago while they were married.

My wife is close to her four cousins, who are not aware that they have a half-sister.

I believe that my wife should let them know about …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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