Culture

Miss Manners: Where am I supposed to make friends now? And don’t say the coffee shop.


DEAR MISS MANNERS: You’ve always advised against mixing social life with work, although I’m not sure why. And now I read that the generation entering the workforce agrees with you, and is not particularly interested in having work friends.

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Hey, I miss my office friends now that we’re working from home! Work was also where I met women. I met my ex-wife at a previous job. (Sure, we all know you’re not supposed to date at the office, but we all do.)

I like my job, but the higher-ups are OK with people coming in just once or twice a week. So when people do come in, they need to spend the time looking like they’re really working, if you know what I mean, and not being friendly like we used to.

Frankly, I’m lonely a lot of time, and I bet I’m not the only one.

I tried going to coffee shops where people work during the day, but they’re all pounding away on their laptops or yapping on the phone. I can’t just break in and get acquainted.

What do you suggest? I’m tired of having only virtual “friends,” who are probably not even who they say they are.

GENTLE READER: What about those work friends whom you miss? Don’t you see them after work hours? And if not, were they really friends? Or just agreeable co-workers?

Yes, real friendships are sometimes made at work. Miss Manners’ caution was to apply a test: If you were fired, would they still be your friends? Or, in your case: If they don’t see you as a matter of course, will they make an effort to see you?

Even without the pandemic, we would have been due for a reaction against the all-work-and-no-play pattern that was prevalent. Or rather, all-work-and-work-related-play. Work, including after-hours gatherings and retreats, was expected to trump personal commitments and obligations. People felt defined by, and defined one another by, their jobs, with family- or child-related work the least rewarded.

At the same time, society’s social structures fell into disuse. Wives whose husbands had supported the family entered the workforce themselves and no longer had time to run the social, civic and religious activities that threw …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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Culture

Miss Manners: Where am I supposed to make friends now? And don’t say the coffee shop.


DEAR MISS MANNERS: You’ve always advised against mixing social life with work, although I’m not sure why. And now I read that the generation entering the workforce agrees with you, and is not particularly interested in having work friends.

Related Articles

Advice |

Miss Manners: People glare at me because they think I’m shoplifting

Advice |

Miss Manners: You really think the next customer wants these napkins?

Advice |

Miss Manners: What’s with the trend of talking behind one’s hand?

Advice |

Miss Manners: They ask about my boyfriend in a very judgmental way

Advice |

Miss Manners: Since I got pregnant, I find myself having to hold back the swears

Hey, I miss my office friends now that we’re working from home! Work was also where I met women. I met my ex-wife at a previous job. (Sure, we all know you’re not supposed to date at the office, but we all do.)

I like my job, but the higher-ups are OK with people coming in just once or twice a week. So when people do come in, they need to spend the time looking like they’re really working, if you know what I mean, and not being friendly like we used to.

Frankly, I’m lonely a lot of time, and I bet I’m not the only one.

I tried going to coffee shops where people work during the day, but they’re all pounding away on their laptops or yapping on the phone. I can’t just break in and get acquainted.

What do you suggest? I’m tired of having only virtual “friends,” who are probably not even who they say they are.

GENTLE READER: What about those work friends whom you miss? Don’t you see them after work hours? And if not, were they really friends? Or just agreeable co-workers?

Yes, real friendships are sometimes made at work. Miss Manners’ caution was to apply a test: If you were fired, would they still be your friends? Or, in your case: If they don’t see you as a matter of course, will they make an effort to see you?

Even without the pandemic, we would have been due for a reaction against the all-work-and-no-play pattern that was prevalent. Or rather, all-work-and-work-related-play. Work, including after-hours gatherings and retreats, was expected to trump personal commitments and obligations. People felt defined by, and defined one another by, their jobs, with family- or child-related work the least rewarded.

At the same time, society’s social structures fell into disuse. Wives whose husbands had supported the family entered the workforce themselves and no longer had time to run the social, civic and religious activities that threw …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

(Visited 1 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *