Harriette Cole: This shady woman keeps inviting me over, and it’s getting awkward

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has been asking to get together for dinner quite frequently. Each time I leave the house, it feels like she extends another invitation.

Harriette Cole 

I, however, don’t really like her. I think she’s mean and has questionable morals.

I don’t want to spend the evening with her or accept her invitation out of pity.  I also don’t want to say no and make it awkward when we see each other in the hallways of our apartment building.

How do I explain to her that I don’t want to get dinner in a way that doesn’t hurt her feelings?

Awkward Neighbor Problems

DEAR AWKWARD NEIGHBOR PROBLEMS: You have to be decisive one way or another.

You won’t like my recommendation, but here it is: You could go to dinner once as a good neighbor, listen to her, learn a bit more about her and choose to be kind even though you have no interest in being her friend.

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Making her an ally — especially since she lives in your building — could be a smart choice. It can help you get a better gauge on the type of person she is and how she spends her time. And you never have to do it again. You can decline after that.

If you do not feel like you have the energy or willingness to do that, you will need to say no. You can thank her for the invitation, tell her you are a very private person, and simply decline. You do not have to give a reason.

You can say that you may one day decide to dine with her if it is not is creating false hope. That is what will hurt her feelings again and again.

If you decline, do not lie and say you never eat with neighbors or anything else that isn’t true. You don’t want to get caught in a lie somewhere down the line.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to pursue a career in theater, but my parents don’t approve. They think I should become a lawyer or doctor, as both jobs would provide me with a more stable career.

Although money is important to me and so is having …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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