Harriette Cole: My new husband’s work life is becoming alarming

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband, who is 31, and I, at 29, tied the knot just two months ago. In this short time, he has resigned from two jobs and is now onto his third position.

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He is already expressing complaints about the workload and seems to prefer procrastinating rather than tackling tasks head-on.

I’m unsure of how to address this recurring pattern and support him effectively. The constant job changes and stress-related complaints are beginning to take a strain on me and our financial resources.

I do not want to sound too pushy, but I’m worried about the coming months if this pattern continues.

— Husband on the Job Hunt

DEAR HUSBAND ON THE JOB HUNT: Step back for a moment. What was your husband’s work life like before you got married?

Did he have a steady job? Was he grounded in his work? How did he spend his time during the day?

Then think about what has happened since you got married. What has changed?

Talk to your husband about his situation, and ask him what’s going on. Gently probe to find out what started this pattern of quitting and restlessness. Talk to him about your plans as a family, and get a sense from him of what he wants long-term.

If the two of you have discussed this in the past, remind him of your shared ideas, and talk about how you can get back on track.

Be serious when you talk to him. Let your husband know how disturbing his erratic work behavior has become and how it is impacting your household finances. If he shuts down when you attempt to talk to him, revisit the conversation again later.

This is too important to ignore. You have to figure out a way forward that involves clear communication between the two of you about your life together and your future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have developed feelings for my therapist, who has been providing me with counseling for anxiety and stress management.

I find myself drawn to him in a way that feels like more than a professional relationship.

While I appreciate his support and guidance in helping me navigate my mental health challenges, I am struggling with the ethical dilemma of wanting to ask him out. The thought of crossing this boundary feels inappropriate, yet …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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