Harriette Cole: My friends don’t believe I’m stressed out, and I really need help

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been stressed out this year for a variety of reasons. I have gained a lot of weight, and I was just diagnosed with psoriasis.

My scalp has been on fire on and off all year, and I didn’t know why. My doctor just figured it out. He said that it could be induced by stress. Just thinking about that makes me even more stressed out.

I need to get my act together, but right now I am feeling very isolated. My friends say I’m crazy to feel like I’m suffering because they think I have such a great life. I suppose I do: I have a good job and a solid marriage, but there’s also a lot of other stuff going on.

I need to get control over my life. How can I do that when my core group of loved ones thinks I’m exaggerating when I say I need help?


DEAR LIFELINE: Your stress is real, and it is affecting both your body and your state of mind. It also sounds like your friends and loved ones do not have the ability to see what’s going on with you or the capacity to help you through it.

That just means you have to find different help. Consider going to a therapist who can help you sort through your challenges and guide you to come up with solutions that will allow you to rebalance yourself.

Stop trying to get your friends to do this for you. They do not have the ability. Seek out the professional help you need so that you can manage your stress better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made friends with a group of women this summer who were so kind. We have known each other for a while, but we bonded in a different way recently.

Normally we only see one another during the summer in our beach community. I feel like I would like to stay in touch with them during the rest of the year, too. I’m not sure how to proceed, though. It’s almost like summer is our special time, and the rest of the year we just live our lives.

How do I approach them about extending our friendship beyond Labor Day?

Remaining Friends

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Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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