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Harriette Cole: My boyfriend finally realized I’m the landlady, and he’s not happy


DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a well-off family. Three years ago, when I turned 18, my mother gave me a two-story house designed like an apartment building, with separate entries on each floor.

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I live in the top unit, and I rent out the lower unit.

About a year ago, my boyfriend moved in with me. I haven’t asked him to pay rent or utilities, only to chip in for groceries.

Last night, my downstairs tenants asked for a new shower as theirs had broken. I went to talk to them about arranging for a replacement. When I told my boyfriend where I had been, he was puzzled.

I explained that I own the building. I hadn’t mentioned it earlier because he hadn’t asked, and I didn’t think it mattered.

Now he’s upset, feeling he’s contributing unnecessarily given my financial situation, and he’s asking for reimbursement. I am legitimately confused about how to respond.

— Building Owner

DEAR BUILDING OWNER: Your boyfriend is pretty presumptuous. He should have offered to pay rent when he moved in. Regardless of who owns the building, he lives there and should be contributing to the cost of the space.

That he is upset because he has contributed to groceries (and nothing more) is a huge red flag.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have; he should be prepared to carry his own weight. While you two are young, you should not allow him to be a freeloader.

He is not the type of partner you deserve. Don’t settle for him unless he decides to step up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is upset with me for not buying him the shoes he wanted.

Last Mother’s Day, he got me a $20 salad bowl. Normally, I’d appreciate any gift, but then I saw what he bought for his mom, sister and cousin: The items ranged from $450 to $500 and were thoughtfully chosen.

I’m usually generous and love making my loved ones happy, but this time, I …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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