DEAR ABBY: I am a childless 70-year-old man. Every year around the anniversary of my brother’s death, some relatives get together and travel to his hometown to celebrate him.
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We have a remembrance at the cemetery and go to Mass together on Sunday. We also go out for meals and drinks. There are three generations involved now, the youngest of the kids being 10.
This year, my cousin’s son and his wife had a baby. We’re all happy for them. A couple of days ago, I sent a group text on our family thread saying I didn’t think it was a good idea to take an infant on this trip. I explained that I felt it would distract from the purpose of the get-together.
Well, my cousin is offended and won’t tell me why. I carefully worded my message so I didn’t say anything negative. Was I wrong?
— TRADITIONALIST IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR TRADITIONALIST: You wrote that the purpose of this get-together is for the family to honor your deceased brother and celebrate his life together. When you posted your message on the family thread, did you expect your cousin’s son and his wife to skip the event and stay home with their baby?
Their baby is part of the family and may be too young to be without the mother.
While your carefully worded message reflects your feelings, it was out of line, and I can see why it upset your cousin.
DEAR ABBY: I dated a colleague when I was 22 but broke it off because I couldn’t deal with the fact that he was several inches shorter than me.
I did not tell him why. I just said, “It’s me, not you.”
I am now in my 60s, have had a very successful career, and never married. I see online that he became a distinguished researcher. In his online picture, he looks like a sweet older man now, and I would give anything to reconnect with him. Would this be foolish?
Was I too insensitive at 22 to understand that I likely hurt him? Do you think …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment