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Dear Abby: The fallout from the affair is destroying my sister


DEAR ABBY: My older sister had an affair with an old boyfriend that lasted several months.

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She was 58 and had been married for 38 years. Her husband, who is a wonderful person and father of their three grown children, forgave her. He’s a devout Catholic, and divorce was out of the question.

She has made every effort to ask for forgiveness from her husband and children and fix the issues in her marriage.

The lingering problem is her oldest child (a daughter, age 35) who is unwilling to forgive and seems to hate her mother now. My niece refuses to have any kind of relationship with her mom.

This situation is so painful for my sister that it’s kind of destroying her. Please offer any advice.

— SADDENED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SADDENED: Your sister’s husband and the other two adult children have forgiven their mother for the affair. No one can force the daughter to accept that her mother, like so many others, is flawed. People make mistakes.

Your sister will have to go on with her life and hope that as this daughter matures, she will learn to forgive as the Lord forgives most of us after we have repented.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a caregiver and have been since the age of 13. I’ll soon be 54.

I have taken care of my sister since our parents passed nearly 20 years ago. I’m seriously considering placing her in a nursing home because she has started needing even more care, and I’m having some health issues myself.

We have brothers and sisters who promise to help care for her and give me a break, but they haven’t done it.

I am married. Both my sons are grown and out of the house, living their lives. Should I feel guilty or not?

— DUTY-BOUND IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DUTY-BOUND: I don’t think so. It is now time to take care of yourself.

You have done more than your fair share of taking care of your sister. If she needs assisted living, your siblings should step forward, at the very least, in sharing the cost since they have done nothing else in the past …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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