Culture

Ask Amy: The bride excluded her, and she doesn’t know why


Dear Amy: My niece “Kate” has been married for several years. Her husband’s brother “Bradley” will be getting married this year.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune) 

All of Bradley’s siblings and their spouses have been asked to be in the bridal party — everyone except Kate.

Kate’s husband is in his brother’s party, but her future sister-in-law, “Julie,” has excluded Kate.

Kate included Julie in her wedding party several years ago.

Kate can think of nothing that would have offended Julie.

How should Kate handle this upcoming wedding?

Sad Aunt

Dear Sad Aunt: In the movie version, “Kate” would attend the wedding, get roaring drunk at the reception, and then deliver the roasty-toast of the century.

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Movie pitch aside, if every single sibling and spouse has been included in the wedding party, this exclusion does seem off-kilter. However, the fact that Kate included “Julie” in her own wedding does not obligate Julie to recipro-kate.

Ideally, Julie would have anticipated this challenge and explained her decision to Kate — gently and respectfully — in advance of her announcement.

Kate might be able to tease out a gracious explanation by asking Julie, “I accept your decision not to ask me to be part of the wedding party, but I want to make sure — are you and I OK?”

She should add, “Please, let me know if there is any way I can be helpful as you get closer to the date.”

Kate should attend this wedding, be a gracious guest, and have a good time.

Dear Amy: Every summer and fall, family members gather at a beach house about an hour from my home.

Because there are not enough bedrooms in the house, my husband and I sleep in an open loft, just above the kitchen and living room.

I’m a light sleeper, and I get only a few hours of shut-eye, due to the natural activity from both the night owls and children rising early.

With chronic health conditions, I’d prefer to sleep in my own home and return to the beach house for day and evening activities, but I’m afraid this would be seen as rude.

Family is important, but so is my health. What do you recommend?

Sleep-deprived

Dear Sleep-deprived: You are responsible for taking care of yourself and seeing to your own …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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