Culture

Ask Amy: I know she’s dying. Is it wrong to acknowledge that with a gift?


Dear Amy: I have an aunt who is at the end of her life. She may die within a couple of weeks.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune) 

I live in a different province, and due to COVID, I won’t be able to say goodbye in person or attend the funeral, but I do want to send flowers and donate to a charity.

Does the etiquette surrounding flowers/donations change at all? Should anything be sent to the dying person in advance, or should it be treated like a regular passing and flowers be sent to the family after?

Confused in BC

Dear Confused: Do not send your aunt a funeral spray. But if you think that a beautiful bouquet of her favorite flowers would make her happy (I could imagine that it might), then send them to her.

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The most important thing for you to do for your aunt in advance of her death is to let her know how much you love and appreciate her. Whether that is through a card, letter, a video shot on your phone and shown to her — you have the opportunity to tell her that you love her, and that she means a lot to you.

After her death, you could send a bouquet or a food basket to her nearby family members, as well as donate to a charity in her memory.

Dear Amy: My sweetheart wants to plan a family trip. At first it just involved our household and one other household. Now it has expanded to include plans involving many other households.

I am uncomfortable with this, and have said as much.

The families involved have made suggestions to make me more comfortable, such as the idea that we can check temperatures, etc., but I think it is a dangerous idea to gather in this way.

How would you navigate this?

Anxious Annie

Dear Anxious: Here’s how I am navigating this sort of dilemma: I’m doing it by saying “no.” This can be surprisingly hard to do, especially when considering the competing agendas that surface during the holiday season.

I don’t consider myself in a particularly high-risk group, but I interact with others who are. I consider a “no” now to be an investment in a future “yes.”

If your sweetheart decides to take this trip without …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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